You're Saying It Wrong.

It's personality that makes us different.


Anyone else super loaded with the cold?
Let me know, you can come around to mine and we can drink hot chocolate and bitch about the people we hate.

Excuse Me Mr.

I can't stand the restritions. I find myself trying to change you but if you were meant to be my lover then I wouldn't have to. I feel so mean, I feel inbetween 'cause I'm about to give you away for someone else to take. Am I making a mistake? All the time I'm wasting. Another ex girlfriend on your list but I should have thought of that before we kissed.

So many reasons for me to run and hide. I've had it up to here.

I'm stupid for believing lies again. I'm stupid for thinking that I am the only thing that matters. I've been waiting in line for nothing but a waste of time!

"When you cry I am a mess."

I'm done, I'm through listening. No Doubt – Move On Because really, it gets me nowhere. Nothing good ever comes with this.

And, I will never get married. Heart on my sleeve covered my a green sweatshirt. I'm so angry. My grandad's going to pop his cloggs fairly soon.

Belittle me.

Feel my wrath! Trying to say that I am pathetic. Telling me that what I am doing is crap. Earth to you; you're a backstabbing little bitch and everyone I know has said wrong of you. Atleast I have some real friends.

What are you doing with yourself anyway? Jack shit.

P.S.
My mum hates you.

So Beautiful, You Are Beautiful.

Take a look at my body, look at my hands. There's so much here that I don't understand. Your face say these promises, whispered like prayers, I don't need them because I've been treated so wrong. I've been treated so long as if I'm becoming untouchable. Well content love's the silence, it thrives in the dark with fine winding tendrils that strangle the heart. They say that promises sweeten the blow but I don't need them.

You are really good food and I am full. I guess everything is timing and I guess everything's been said so I am coming home with an empty head. You'll say, "Did they love you or what?" and I'll say, "They love what I do.", the only one that really loves me is you. And you'll say "Girl, you kicked some butt," and I'll say "I don't really remember. My fingers are sore, my voice is too."
You'll say "It's really good to see you," you'll say "I missed you horribley," you'll say "let me carry your bag, give that to me." And you will take the heavy stuff and you will drive the car and I'll look out the window and make jokes about the way things are.

All Too Smart To Talk To God.

I don't love you, I'm just passing the time. You could love me if I knew how to lie but who could love me? I am out of my mind. Throwing a line out to sea, to see if I can catch a dream.

What Makes You Unique?

I was watching a video by 'RazorbladeJake', one of many contributers to the youtube community, "Gender Blend" and he asked what makes you unique? He stated that besides the fact he is a boy in make up, he also has a shaven head and wears wigs, which I think is wonderful.

But what makes me unique? I sat down and got my thinking cap on. What makes me unique... different... and then it hit me! Absolutely nothing.

Sure, the way I dress is a bit from the norm but I shop at all the regular places. Some days I'm bright and colourful and some days I'm not. I've never done anything drastic with the way I look. I am friends with a regular crowd. I do regular things. I am regular.

The question is aimed at the alternative group, I think. So most replies will most likely be about their apearances, either their hair or their clothes or their make up or... you know. I don't think that should be what makes you unique, sure, it's a start but what is it worth? Underneath that there has to be substance. At the end of the day, I could strip anyone of their clothes and make up and you'd all look the same.

The only thing seperating me from the rest of the world is my personality, my taste and my habits. The little things that make me who I am. You only find out these things when you really know me and not many people do. I'm the kind of person that you have to know to like. On meeting me, most people wont talk to me again, only if they really want to they will, then they get to know me. That girl.

All in all, I am unique, I am different to everyone else but only a few people know it.

You Called Me Sugar.

Have you ever wished for an endless night? Lassoed the moon and the stars and pulled that rope tight. Have you ever held your breathe and asked yourself will it ever get better than tonight?

You never know what's going to happen. But I think I know these things and I think I know that I will get what I want one day, all the things I want more than anything.

Maybe it's just wishful thinking? I haven't yet thought that I might not get what I want, the posibility hasn't entered my head and now that I think about it... I'd be miserable without it all. Without the wedding in the grassy field, wearing my big white dress and no shoes. Without the house by the beach, out of the way of everything. Without him and me. Without family parties. Without my Mum and Dad getting really old. Without me getting really old. Without me getting married once and never again. Without having a girl. Without having a baby for someone else. Without working in a school.

Maybe I am setting my sights too high.

Almost blue, almost doing things we used to do. There's a boy here and he's almost you, almost all the things that your eyes once promised, I see in his too. Now your eyes are red from crying.

I Was Definitely Made For These Times.

Say Something, Say Anything.

They've got the army of ears, they can't hear you now. I've got the piss in my veins and these furrowed brows. You've got this one last chance to burn me, turn me down. If not, I've got these last twelve bucks to spend on you. You can take me anywhere your sick mind wants to. I'll use your South to fuel me using you.

I hear, "Hey, hey hey hey, come pollinate me."

All I can do is ask you, ask you to ask me.

I watched my yellow cat invade my red cat in the yard. The fealine war has raged for years so I assumed it'd be to hard for me to drive my foot between them, I would never risk the scratch just to prove to one or both of them a cat is just a cat.

I can't ask you, that'd just be silly. Maybe I should? I should just ask. I think I will. Right now.

Shit! Nothing makes sense, so I won't think about it. I'll go with the ignorance. Eat, sleep, fuck and flee; in four words, that's me. I am full of indifference. What do the old people teach us but how to die? And what do those hissy fits teach you except how to cry? Yeah, the futile, the futile, it outweighs the beautiful.

No, I can't ask. I didn't ask and I'll never ask, merely just a suggestion that will hopefully be remembered later on in life when we're both miserable and lonely, growing old seperately.

Why? Why isn;t a yes but it's not a no. There was no question though, I didn;t ask anything therefor I can't complain. Why? Because it's a reasonable idea.

One hour later. Still nothing. Ramble, ramble.

Everything.

When I said I needed you, you said you would always stay. It wasn't me who changed but you and now you've gone away. Don't you see that now you've gone and I'm left on my own that I have to follow you and beg you to come home. You don't have to say you love me just because I have, you don;t have to stay forever, I will understand. Believe me, I can't help but love you, but believe me, I'll never tie you down.

Nothing sucks balls more than being a woman.

Want some facts? Prepair to be disgusted.

A period is when the lining of your womb (uterus) sheds its lining - this is why you bleed and you might also have lumps in your blood. The blood flows through a small hole in your cervix (the opening of the womb) and through the vagina.

I get this, every month! Every month until I'm 50. I'm going to have roughly 396 periods.

Secrets.

My mind is a safe, if we keep it then we all get rich. My body is an orphanage, we take everyone in.

I wish I had more secrets, they'd make me more interesting.

Miss Time Devine.

Where are you now? Where is my fix? My daily dose of vocabulary that never ceased to amaze. Miss Time Devine, come back.

The only person that saw me as what I aspire to be and not what I really am. The only person who'se writing I could get tangled up in, it wouldn't be a problem though. I used to check for fresh posts, every day, eagerly awaiting the arrival of something new.

The only person I see going places. The only person that I envy because of her passion for literature. The only person that could take me into Waterstones and not leave for atleast 3 hours. The only person that has ever sat me down and listened intently to what I have had to say.

In A Green Cotton Sweater.

I gave back the t-shirt that you'd always wear, I went by your work and just left it there. All the leaves are brown and it's autumn now. It was a summer fling, don't take it personal or anything. You can wear your heart on your sleeve but pull your sweater over. No more kisses under shooting stars, no more rides on the handlebars, no more drive-ins in the back seat of your parents car. It was a summer fling and it didn't mean anything and you can cry your eyes out on the phone.

I was watching the telly when the advert for some sort of pink beverage. There are two glasses on the table filled with the pink nonsense, both hands reach for the same glass. I said to my Mum, "That's just silly, she was sitting nearer that glass so she didn't need to try to get the other." and she replied, "No Heather, this is why you don't have a boyfriend! She's flirting, you have to do the pinky-touches-other-hand technique. You've got to reach for someone elses glass, Heather. Reach for the glass! Heather! You have to reach!" Shortly afterwards we were in fits of laughter.

You know, the telly is silly. I went down stairs earlier to see when my food would be ready, I was very hungry. The news was on, telling me all about these people that are dead. It's 5 oclock in the evening, I don't want to hear about people dying! I was hungry, why would I care? So I don't think I shall continue watching tea time telly.

Doll Face.

You're not, you think you are but you're not. If you were you wouldn't even have to say it. Hell, you are just about as much as I am!

Casiotone For The Painfully Alone – Old Panda Days

Haven't recommended you with a song in a while, I do like casiotone for the painfully alone. I wrote a blog a while ago made entirely of a song of theirs, you wouldn't have even noticed!

I'm really running out of words, it'll be time to stop soon. I thought up an idea for my 200th, I'll probably ask some of you guys to give me a couple of words.

I need to eat, I am rough.

Another recommendation? Oh, yes.
Casiotone For The Painfully Alone – Casiotone for the Painfully Alone in a Green Cotton Sweater