On my own.

True to form, I only ever come here when I'm sad.

I don't think 'sad' cuts it these days. I'm just going plain crazy.

I finally got to a point where I was sure of what I wanted. I wanted to be back in a serious, long term kind of relationship. I wanted to meet the person that makes my life a little better, easier. The one that makes me a better person and makes me feel good about who I am.

Then I had an epiphany, that I was unnaturally attached to my ex. My 'bestie'. It wasn't good for me. It was stopping me from getting to that happy couple kind of place. I was still emotionally invested in what we had without actually having him. Isn't that fucked up? I'm so fucked up.
So now I'm keeping my distance. For my own good.

But now I just feel lonely. I'm in a terrible place. I'm trying to convince myself that I'm finding someone by chatting up all these guys online, having a million first dates that don't go anywhere. This isn't how it's going to happen.

I need to be happy with myself. I'm stupid to think someone else is going to tell me I'm a good person and I'll start believing it. I need to believe it, on my own.