Begging You.

You don't know me anymore, atleast I think you don't. I don't feel like I know you in the slightest, we aren't what we used to be. We ussed to talk for hours, every day, we used to be inseperable.

I don't think I'm the same as I was but that happens, right? You change when you meet new people and start talking to them more often, you start to talk like them. So, maybe, when you stop talking to people you change back? Maybe. When we talk now, it's not the same. I don't change to suits you. When I'm with you, I'm just the same old me that I am with everyone else, there's no spark.

I think you're the same as the first time we met, only because none of this bothers you as much as it's been eating away at my brain. Atleast, that's what I think.

I've been reading into things on a whole different level to the way you mean them, a whole new level of paranoia. Like once, (and this is not a direct quote) you said you'd been 'just spending time with mates' or whatever, in reply to my asking what have you been upto. It just gives me the most hrrible feeling. You've been hanging out with your mates, spending time all the time with them... and you don't spend any time with me anymore. But you've been spending time with your friends, and not with me, so that means I'm not your friend. And I'm not, anymore. I'm just someone you once knew so well. Not that you ever tried to know me, I just thrusted all of my emotional fuck ups and complications in your face, assuming you'd want to hear it all.

I bet you, if I'd have known then how I feel now I wouldn't have been so quick to trust. Not that I can't trust you, I'm sure I can, I just don't want to tell you how I feel anymore.

I've never properly fallen out with a friend before, but I think that's what I need. I've drifted from my friends, that's what we're doing, and I've been okay with it but I am not okay this time. We used to be inseperable, I used to feel invincable with you. I used to have fun.

I just want my fun back. I wish I wasn't who I am.