No.

I want to see how it feels to slap you across the face. I want to know if you had any intentions of hurting me. I want to know if it ever came into your head that what you were about to do might effect me in some way. I want to know why you weren't man enough to speak to me before I left. I want to know why you're such a big girl.

I know you think you're Gods gift to women. I know you think you can get whatever and whoever you want. I know that you're no better than any other number. I know that I am better than you. I know that you didn't want me, you just liked the idea.

I'm just as bad, really. I can hardly blame you.
I was at the Cat House, as where the two boys that I was interested in. Now, none of them are. Now, because I'm such an idiot, I've chased them both away. The second one... well, it's probably for the best, judging on tonight, that I never "got with" him. But the second one... I don't know.

I realised the other day that me and 'him' have had this on again off again kind of seeing each other over the hedge thing for 3 months. 3 months! 3 months, Heather, if this was a relationship it would have been your second longest. Heather Cameron, the girl that can't do relationships. This became my new aproach; a sort of "let's just meet up at the weekend and be coupley, kiss and hug and hold hands, then spend the rest of the week arranging what we'll do again at the weekend.", this was my no strings attached arrangement. But it's worked exactly the same as my regular relationships, just means it lasts a bit longer.

I have started to lose interets in the boy. I wish I wouldn't, I wish it would last like this for longer. Charlotte always says to me "you can't help the way you feel". But damn, if I could then I'd be able to be so much nicer to him because he's a really nice lad when it boils down to it.

The other boy, I realise now, isn't worthy of my time. As angry as I am, it's not because I'm gutted, it's because he can't do that to me. He cannot lead me on, string me along, I don't care who he is or who he thinks he is, he can't do that to me. Me. Heather Cameron. The best thing. Better than him, ofcourse. But generally, I'm a nice girl. I deserve better.