Daydream.

Not at all in the day, it was last night. Another one.

I didn't get much sleep last night, I was crying uncontrolabley every five minutes. I couldn't keep my eyes closed for too long because I convinced myself there was a girl in my room. She was terrifying, she had no eyes. Being afraid of the dark is a pain.

When I eventaully fell asleep, I ended up at a beach. It was all familiar, I was told to take a class of kids along the beach to do something but I wasn't listening and we all just ended up throwing rocks in the water. Eventually, the teacher appeared and took the class off of me which was just as we;;, seeing as there was a party going on further on that I ended up going to. There were loads of people there, some I knew. But the boy, the next 'boy of my dreams' was there. We hit it off instantly. He was gorgeous, tall. He has thos wavy blonde hair, was in shorts... looked alot like those typical surfer guys actually. He was wonderful. Then he was gone.

I ended up in somewhere new. I met him again, it was meant to be years from the last time we met, we were all "you've grown" and all that rubbish. His hair was pink, God knows why. It was nice, but we kept on arguing, I can't remember what about. There was one point, another ex was there and he didn't know about us. He started making horrible remarks and I stormed off into another room and zipped the door shut - yes, the door was the same as the kind you get on tents - and refused to let him in. He followed me as I zipped it shut, right to the corner, and I unzipped it the tiniest bit and said "take me for what I am".

He walked off. I started panicing, trying to unzip the door, it seemed impossible. When I tried to leave where ever it was that I was, I couldn't. There was a giant ramp stopping me, at the top was the door. On first attempt I can sliding back down but I eventually made it out. I ran across the street, there were cars coming from everywhere but I didn't care. I asked a woman with a filming crew, "has a guy with long pink hair been past you?", she pointed to my left with a big smile. Once I went over to where she pointed, there were loads of people with pink hair. I ran around for a long time, until I found him at the bottom of some stairs.

"Where did you go?" I was out of breathe,
"To get an apple." He had one aswell!
"Cool...", I had a marshmallow square... which didn't make any sense.

At that point, he stopped paying attention to me and I didn't want to be there anymore. I woke myself up.

I miss it all to much. I miss being able to be touchy-feely with someone, seeing someone and getting butterflies. I wish I wasn't so cold. WHy is this happening.