- Say what you mean and mean what you say. Honesty really is the best policy.
- Be politely assertive. Say how you feel and explain what you want. Friends and colleagues can't be mind readers.
- Give lots of compliments. You will make others feel good about themselves and find that this gives you pleasure too.
- Give small gifts to your friends. To give is even more pleasurable than to receive.
- If you are a woman, get your hair done. This will always make you feel better about yourself.
- Stretch yourself geographically. Go to places you've never seen before. Even in your home town, try taking a different route than usual and notice the different locations that you've never seen before.
These are some of the things I think I would do if I found myself really depressed and in need of a lift! Say what I mean, be polite, try and give a few compliments, give my friends something nice, get my hair done and go places. So, when I've completely lost my marbles and escaped from my secret little place you should know that you can find me at the hair dressers looking for places to go on holiday.
Some of the advice that this site gives, I think, sounds like a load of nonsence...
- One way of dealing with a difficult problem is to imagine how you will feel about that problem next week, next month, next year. Now try to bring those feelings into the present. It will give you a sense of perspective. Problems rarely look so formidable in retrospect.
I wouldn't like to do this if I was really not happy, because I'm sure all I'd be able to imagine is things becoming worse and me living out of a cardboard box and getting beat up... or something along those lines.
It also says;
- If you're down, remember it could be a lot worse. If you need reminding, read "Still Me" by Christopher Reeve (quadriplegic) or "The Diving Bell And The Butterfly" by Jean-Dominique Baulby (locked-in syndrome)
If I'm upset, I am not going to take a few days out of my what seems 'pointless life' to read a couple of books. How will it help? I will have read; big fucking deal!
It also says I should;
- More importantly than anything else, live with a partner whom you love and respect and who feels the same about you. Kiss and cuddle and compliment often and regularly buy unexpected little gifts.
- When you're old enough and in a steady relationship, have a son or a daughter. Tell them often how much you love and admire him/her and do anything to help him/her.
- Have a cat or a dog. Stroke often.
- Keep in close touch with relatives and a small circle of friends. You can't beat their love and support.
Okay okay, slow down the train here. I do believe this site is now telling be that, for me to be happy, I need to find someone I love and live with them, kiss them and cuddle them all the time, get up the duff and tell my child how awesome they are, get some pets?! And lastly, make sure I don't lose touch with my family and keep an active social life. That last statement is the only one I think I can agree with.
Some people enjoy their own company and do not need anyone else to make them happy. Myself, I know I do not need to be in a relationship to be happy and I certainly don't need the hastle of seeing them every day. I need to have children?! That was thing I was set on not doing! All kids would do is spend my money and get me stressed. Animals in the house... that is just an instant mess, poop and pee, hair everywhere, and again, they cost money. Most people move out to avoid their parents, why would you go and seek contact with them? They dragged you down for so long!
One thing that I think is awefully blunt is;
- Conversely, if there is a person in your life who is a negative influence and who is dragging you down in some way, don't be afraid to get remove such a person from your life.
I have a few negative friends, getting rid of them mearly to keep myself happy would just be selfish and mean! Imagine how they'd feel? It might send them into a pit of depression, and imagine if they came to this stupid site for advice, they'd end up killing themselves. I don't want my friends to die, I'm not going to leave them for my benifit.
http://www.rogerdarlington.me.uk/Happy.html
Go and look at the site for yourself.
The site makes a point of saying that these are not instructions, they are just suggestions but then says, I quote!
"However, if you try out all these suggestions and you're still not happy, you're either an android or an alien. In the former case, see an electronics engineer - or watch "Blade Runner". In the latter case, go home to your own planet and tell your people that we humans will survive."... I find this rather insulting to be perfectly honest. Imagine being really unhappy and reading that, would push you off the edge!
I have decided that to be happy, all I need is myself. If I lose myself, I am in big trouble.
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