Just a Thought,

I could do this for days!

If you know me at all, ouyay illway nowkay hattay i ontday riteway hesetay orfar ouryay enifitbay roay ymay enifitbay. I implysay riteway hemtay ecausebay i ancay. I ontday oday tiay otay akemay emay ooklay oolcay, i oday tiay ecause tiay ctsay say a entvay! Now that we've got that out of the way I shall carry on.

It's another one of those days. Today I tried explaining to a couple of my friends about this "out of control" feeling i mentioned before. It was when we were on the swings in James Street Park that i got it again. Don't confuse this with "out of body", because i don't see myself from another perspective or anything... It's more of a numb feeling, but my point is that i really don't like it! It's so hard to explain. So if those friends, that i was with today, read this; that's what i meant by "I feel funny...", okay?

It's one of the worst feeling in the world. Like a feeling of not belonging. I have been in places today that I definetly don't not belong (i know, double negative, but it's intentional!), so there's no reason for me to feel like this, surely?

"When the world is darker than i can understand,
When nothing turns out the way I planned,
When the sky turns grey and there's no end in sight,
When I can't sleep through the lonely night.
I turn to you, like a flower leaning toward the sun.
I turn to you 'cause you're the only one.
Who can turn me around when I'm upside down?
I turn to you. "

I'm probably just being far too much of a girl. Women seem to do this more than men, turn little tiny things into mountain sized deals! When really it is quite pointless, if you think about it... So what? Sometimes i feel funky! Sometimes I feel numb. Sometimes I feel as if I don't belong here. But this is all a rather big deal to me, I wa't my life to be just perfect. I'll be perfect when i'm famous!