Uncomfortable.

Right now things don't feel quite right.

Do you ever get that way? Where everything you do feels like a dream? I don't mean a dream like something you've always wanted, i mean a dream, like when you're asleep, something you can't control. It makes me feel slightly ill, this bizarre undescribable feeling. I feel slightly out of control. I've never seen myself as a control freek but maybe that's what i am lacking? Maybe i should be more controlling? Maybe i should stop asking for advice from a keyboard.

Things just don't feel right, I must be doing something wrong! I can tell that this isn't the way things should be, something has to change. I do not feel happy, content at the moment. I'm missing something, i need motivation. I wouldn't mind finding something to do, something i'm good at, but all i want to do is be young!

I want to go paragliding again and go bungee jumping and sleep for a week straight and get really drunk for a weekend and have a big sleepover and not have to go to school... I want to be famous. It's the solution to all of my problems! It's easy money, money is obviously the main problem, i'd get the attention i needed, i'd meet loads of new people. If i could have anything, it'd be fame...

We never get what we want though, do we? Hardly ever. But right now I'm feeling so bizarre, all because the things i have aren't the things i should be working for.