Confidence.

I'm doing this for your enjoyment, I feel that my blogs are being bogged down with thinking and starting to become more negative that intended. Here's some light hearted writing and a song that will make you bop, plus my still negative thinking due to a headache that no happy music will help.

Martha Reeves & The Vandellas – Dancing In The Street - Single Version

Today, MSN has given me "Ten Ways To Boost Your Self-Confidence". I figured I must be a good candidate to judge weither these will work, seeing as my ego can fill the room and my head wont fit through the door. Here they are...

• Cultivate self-appreciation

Haha, sure, they're right with this one. They recommend writing a list of all the things that you aren't so shit at and carrying this list everywhere just to remind yourself that you aren't a complete failure. This does not stop you sucking at everything else you do though, does it?

• Write a list of past successes

So pretty much, write about times you have done well at the things you are good at. If you forget, don't fear! That stupid scrap of paper with what you're good at might help. Alas, if you're not good at anything then I doubt you have had many successes... therefor making step one and two impossible, making you even more self concious and/or depressed. Failing at making either of these lists could also be another failure of yours. Don't forget to put it in your list of "past failures", and you can write 'lists' in your list of "things i am not good at".

• Don't engage in negative dialogue

What it means is 'don't talk to Heather Cameron'. It mentions that if you speak negatively then people will think you are negative... but thats true! Just because you don't speak negatively, which everyone does anyway, doesn't neccessarily mean you are not a negative person. I also don't see how being negative makes you self concious... sure, if you're being negatives about yourself! But that doesn't mean you can't be like me and hate everything else in the world that isn't wither you or chocolate. This acts an ego boost for me!

• Support yourself and put yourself first

I think what they're going for with this one is along the same lines as the last one, "Be your own best friend. Don’t beat yourself up and call yourself names". Before, it was do 'not be negative about yourself', now they are telling you to be positive about yourself... I just assumed that's what they meant in the previous point. Putting yourself is fabulous and all but I have learnt that alot of people start to call you selfish after a while of acting like this. That starts to get you down... but if you've got an ego like me, I say go for it!

• Choose positive role models

Can't fault this one, which disapoints me highly as I find nothing more satisfying than proving stupid people wrong. Role models are only for people that don't know who they are yet, the minute they reach a point where they're happy with themselves, they'll drop all these 'role models' and start acting like the new person they've created instead of trying to be someone else. Basicly, you're not going to be happy with yourself unless you're acting like someone else... therefor not being yourself.

The next one, because of who I am and not just my ego, made me laugh out loud for a good whole 3 seconds.

• Accept compliments

"Being able to accept, believe and feel good about accepting compliments is crucial to cultivating a high self-confidence. The best way to accept compliments is to look the person in the face, smile and say thank you. This will in turn also make them feel good." If you know me at all of have read anything else I have written, you will know I actually get a bit angry when people give me compliments. Some people do get confident because of people complimenting them but I am not one of them. Thus showing I do not need other people to acknowledge the way I look for me to be confident, I'm happy with just me thinking I look nice. The last part is the bit that's gotten me riled up, "This will in turn make them feel good.", because I, me personally, am not here to make people feel better about themselves. I shouldn't just have to take a compliment or two because no one else is content with themselves. I am. Fuck you.

• Banish negative beliefs

Okay, I haven't got a clue what that one means. The only negative belief I have is that men are all evil and they don't deserve my time, but that cannot be disproved.

Sorry about the overload of horrible negativeness but I just switched my music player to Placebo and I think it's to blame.

• Adjust your body language

I find this almost impossible but maybe not everyone is like me. My body language changes depending on who I am with but I don't change it intentionally. Then again, I think your body language can change depending on your mood, but I am positive (haha! look at me positively thinking) that you can't change your mood by deciding on changing your body language, it's never worked that way for me.

• Use positive affirmations

More of your think positive advice, talk to yourself in the mirror and all that lark. Talking to yourself is something I do not promote, unless you live alone... And if you live alone, get someone to live with because being lonely will never go well!

• Redefine your self-image

"Think about and write up who you are now. Identify the bits you want to change and rewrite a definition of your self-image. Read this everyday for the next three weeks at least and be that person. Prepare for the changes you are going to make and the new you by throwing out your old clothes and thinking about how best to dress your new self. Then go shopping!"... 'then go shopping', as if that wasn't completely aimed at women. We're not the only ones that worry about the way we look! Basicly, this one emphasises my point that you apparently can't happily be yourself, if you aren't happy they suggest you change who you are and how you look. Maybe that works though, but I don't agree with it. Atleast with the ideas about writing lists of things you like about yourself you can focus on yourself, rather than compairing you rself to others.

My point is here somewhere. Don't go changing. Be the way you are. Don't listen to other people, to a certain extent! Be happy with your lot, there's only one you and you should be proud of that. Make do with what you've got, after all, turning a person into something fantastic is about as creative as it gets and if you can do it with yourself... now, that's impressive.