I Was Thinking; Part 5.

You're not the same as all the others, you have one distinct feature which places you in a whole legue of your own, you're a girl. You're my only ex girlfriend but I can assure you there will most likely be plenty more.

It all started in a phone booth, a £5 bet brought us together. That was our first run in. The day after that I started going out with the man that made the bet. I'm not sure what happened after that. Our little incident with the telephones made everyone believe that I was "bi", people were asking me for the rest of that day, "Are you's going out then?" and the such like, I replied with 'I don't know's and 'I don't think so's. Really, I should have just said No because we weren't. I always thought you were purely in it for the money... although, you were all over me that day. A while after that we had a love triangle, I let Gary have you. I'm such a good friend.

We were involved in another bet at Halloween, I told Dan that if he 'got off with' Laura then I'd 'get off with' you. I hate the term 'got off with', it's so vulgar. I was going out with Kris at the time but he couldn't make it to the party and I wasn't happy. I shouldn't have made that bet, It made me a bad person really, I was ineffectively cheating. You seemed pretty up for it, you were always sitting on my knee and hand cuffing yourself to me. You were giving me the green light, when I set the deal with Dan you didn't object. I was just as up for it as you were. I don;t think I saw you for the rest of that night, after it happened. I did clock onto you sitting on the steps with Slade, you looked as if you'd been crying. Guilt is a horrible feeling. Andrew, with no delay, then confronted me, "Why?". He's a good friend of yours, he was right, I should have known better.

Learning from my mistakes is something I do not do well. I stayed at yours on New Years with a couple of our friends. We got very, very drunk... you more so than anyone. Ever-wise Andrew didn't drink back then, and good on him, he just watched over. I was very aware of that. We did kiss a few times that night, blaming it on dares and spin the bottle. It was the same as when you got your braces off, I'm not sure if this was before or after New Years though, you asked me to kiss you, purely to see if it made much of a difference. It didn't but I told you it did. Where was I? Kris called that night, he said he'd come and visit but he never did. He was full of hollow promises like that but I 'loved' him. Just after coming off the phone, Naomi asked me if I liked you. I said no. I'm a liar. She said that you liked me and wanted to know how I felt. I wasn't into the thing we had going on as much as you were.

The summer after that I finally plucked up the courage to ask my friend to ask you out. I couldn't do it, I don't know why. I did try, we took a walk down the pier and I just froze up. I left Charlotte to do my dirty work for me. It was shirt lived, a week or so. The will they, wont they finally did. Once I finally had you the whole idea of us lost its appeal.

I do still think you're one of the most beautiful girls I know but you're not for me. You probably think the same.