Sunday.

I used to love sundays. I used to spend them eating the equivelant of my own body mass in crisps and juice and chocolate. I still do that but it's not the same. I watch movies and wallow in self pity because I'm incapable of holding a relationship for any longer that a couple of days. What's wrong with me? I hate sundays.

I just watched Juno, that didn't help. I cried at the end. I don't ever cry at other peoples misfortune! I'm eating chocolate because I'm sad and I'm sad because I'm eating chocolate. The Moldy Peaches aren't helping today, either. I'm shortly scheduled to watch Eternal Sunshine and be confused at how two people can deal with each other even though there are so many faults in each of them. Maybe I should stop watching movies on sundays... It could be worse, I could shove on The Notebook.

I just saw a picture of two people, they've been going out forever. Why can't I do that? Why is there no one I'm crazy about? What the hell is stopping me from being like everyone else? Maybe I've just not met the person yet, but what if I never do? For all I know, this could be it. It might just be me, myself and I for the rest of time. For all I know, it might just be me and an alternating man every month 'cause I can't seem to stay interested.

My friend told me ages ago, the problem is that I've just not found anyone interesting yet. I'm sure that's not how it works though. Apparently, I'm interesting so I'm meant to find someone of equal interestingness? I'm not interesting, I'm complicated. I don't want someone of equal complication... I've got my own baggage, I don't need anyone elses.

I can't seem to be comfortable around other people either. My friend and I were talking about it yesterday. Some people just jump straight into the physical contact thing as soon as they start dating, some people never have. i can't do it and I don't think I will be able to for a long time... and this is probably what's stopping me from falling head over heals in love with anyone.

"I'm just ass in the crack of humanity. I'm just a huge manitee."

This has been the most negative thing I've ever typed, I'm going to go wallow in my own self pity for a bit longer, then maybe try and squeeze out some tears. Who knows, I might find someone to agrue with and actually be able to have something to moan about. I hate everything. Kill me.