19 minutes.

Left to write a blog because I know there's a few people out there that take the time to read these... I have a rediculous amount of respect for them too.

Girlfriends.

I don't understand why I have to be a girlfriend... It's the same as the idea of being married to someone. Why do you need to make it exclusive? Why should I need to prove to other people that I have feelings for someone? Why should I have to prove to that person that I will commit to them?

Really, let's be honest, the only person we're trying to convince is ourselves.
I've never agree'd with marraige, let's check dictionary dot com again;
–noun
1.
the social institution under which a man and woman establish their decision to live as husband and wife by legal commitments, religious ceremonies, etc.
Doesn't that make you cringe slightly? Why can't people carry on as they are, instead of having to flaunt their so called 'love' in the faces of lonely hearts? We've just been told it's the done thing, you meet someone, you end up "in a relationship" (another thing I don't understand, why can't you just spend time with each other and be friends, because that's all you'll end up anyway when it's over or by the time you're 70...), get married, pop out a few children and be happy.

Is it only because couples reach a certain stage in their life when they've done it all and the only thing left to do is get married? If so, they're doing it for all the wrong reasons. Then again, what are the right reasons? "Because they love each other, silly" all the movies are telling me. I can't get my head around why you would want to tie yourself down to something as life changing as that. 9 minutes left.

All of this makes it clear why I can't keep a relationship for more than a month or two; I don't like being held down. Maybe it's because I'm convinced I am heading for bigger, better things... Maybe it's because the word "commitment" scares the living day lights out of me? Maybe I should stop trying to be like a guy when it comes to relationships, my life in general, and start acting my gender.

I act like the boy, pulling your pigtails and teasing you when really I think you're pretty awesome. I don't know why I do it, I never will know. It must have something to do with my fear of being percieved as Dependant. I'm not dependant. Look at me, I just exsume rays of Fuck You, Get Lost and other insulting phrases. Don't get me wrong, I don't mean to come off like this but that's just the way I am. Deal with it? If I can then everyone else can.

On a completely irrelivant note;
I just played through half of the Panic At The Disco albums and I got the best feeling in the world. It's given me goosebumps.

4 minutes to spare. Eh, Jamie, I did pretty well I think!