I want new things. I want material things, new clothes and make up and hair that will fix its self and a fridge that fills its self and self-cleaning house. I want updated, I want to get taller and thinner and prettier and get bigger boobs and a smaller bum and bigger eyes. I want to live, drink less coffee, eat less chocolate and stop being so stubborn when it comes to food. I want to stop being so stubborn and just let someone fucking love me for a change. Argh.
Remember when I met that guy in my dream? I met another one last night. Not the same guy though, completely different, he had darker hair I think... and wasn't as tall. He was ten times better too! I was so disapointed whe I woke up and realised I hadn't been with him, I never actually listened to him talking and I don't actually know who he is. I wish I could live forever in my dreams. Do you think it;s possible? Somewhere, at some point in your life...
Ofcourse it's not possible. But why do I keep meeting these people in my head? Where do they come from? I can't just be pulling them out of thin air, can I? I hope not. Maybe I've constructed them, in my head, out all all the bits of people that I like to create this monserous amount of brilliant and I've fallen in love with it. I do this all the time, it's nothing new to me. I see people and fall for them... But I don't know them. I don't want to know them, I might not like them anymore, I might hate them for all I know. I don't want to ruin the dream.
Urgh, I hate my dreams. My little breaks from reality are wonderful but I don't want a temporary break, take me away permanently please.
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