Let Love Be Your Energy.

I like having boys on demand. It's a nice feeling. It's nice to know people are interested in me. I've given up on being interested on guys... but don't get me wrong, I have a tendancy to not turn down a guy, that doesn't make me a slut. I just love getting to know people, and this is a means of doing so.

"All the best women are married, all the handsome men are gay." Here's the thing, I'm not attracted to men. I'm not a lesbian but I don't fancy guys or women for that matter. I do have a thing for men that look like women, but thats just lust, I don't like the actual people and if I'm right, which I usually am, they lady boys are most likely into lady boys too.

Do you not find that when you are interested in someone and you find out they 'fancy' you too, you dismiss it. It's unthinkable. I get that, alot. But it actually, in my head, seems impossible. Yet, to everyone else it's obvious. I don't know where I'm going with this.

I want what I used to have back. Our little arrangement; meeting up at weekends, getting wasted, texting throughout the week and doing what couples do. I don't blame you for not showing me the slightest bit of attention, after all, I did try to reel you in and trap you. Constantly having my friends ask why we're not going out or then telling you to ask me out... I can be honest and say, if you had, things would have been much worse. We wouldn't have lasted a week. But we lasted 3 months. I'll never be happy.

Does that make me a shit person? Wanting to juggle as many men as possible just to feel better about myself. Well, yeah, it does. But I'm sure the guys know I'm a head mess before they get involved. He knew, because he'd witnessed me and how I acted around guys, seeing as I did go out with his best friend for a month. That also makes me a bad person, going for the ex's best friend, I've heard it's not the done thing.
it makes sense though, why you wouldn't. Coming between two friends, two really close ones, isn't a nice thing to do and I wouldn't be having it if someone tried to do that to me. it's only a problem if you let it be though. Oh, here's something I can write about for days!

Now, I understand, bro's before hoes and all the rest of it. But if your ex goes for your best friend, that shouldn't mean that they're in the wrong or that your friend is. It's only a problem if you make it. And you've got to look at all the reasons why you'd make it a problem, I bet you it's 'cause you still have a bit of a thing for the person intruding your friendship. There's no other explination really. It's a bit selfish if you don't let them have a go at it, they could be meant for each other for all you know.

Coming from me, this is all nonsense, I know nothing of relaionships and this is baised completely on what I've observed.
Ladyhawke – Paris Is Burning