Relationships? Yeah?

Be my best friend and I can bitch to you about all the guys that have screwed me over and all the ones I let slip through my fingers.
Be my boyfriend and I can let you walk all over me or try and crush you first.
Be both, and you're something brand new.

Be my best friend and take me out for a coffee and around for some window shopping.
Be my boyfriend and let me choose a movie even though it's the worst place to chat and catch up.
Be both, and you're a bizarre combination.

Be my friend and ask me how I am and tell me how you are and what's going on.
Be my boyfriend and smother me with your love and affection until I crack.
Be both, and I might explode.

With Heather Cameron, there is no happy medium.

I'm not comfortable with the fact that someone 'likes' me. I'll also be absolutely raging when I found out they don't think I am God's gift to men. I will never be pleased. Think you can win me over? Guess again. Men are not to be trusted!

You have to be;

1. Fun, full of exciting things to do, places to go.
2. Impulsive, it's a must.
3. Talkative, conversation is a big thing to me.
4. Arguementative, it's the main way I communicate.
5. Interesting, I've met many a boring man in my time and it's no fun hearing the same things over and over and over...
6. 'Brand New', in the sense that you can keep me on my toes, always not knowing what to expect next... I have a tendancy to get bored you see.

So, there you have it, a bunch of things you should be if you want a chance. I am one of the most difficult people I know. Slightly... unpredictable? And stuborn. I can't be won over easily. I almost forgot, "You only get one shot at the title", so use it wisely! If i've wasted my time on you once, there's a very slim chance of me wasting time on you again. You can try to persuade me, tell me it's worth another go, but I'm hard to convince. By the way, I will not let anyone tell me what to do.

Also, I'm a confused little girl. I don't nkow how to express my feeling properly. This is not only a problem for you but it's a big problem for me! I hate giving off the wrong impression but I can't stand thinking people can just read me like a book. I'm difficult, self centered and oblivious to the world around me. I can't decide what's best for me but I usually choose the worst option. I like to think I'm capable of anything. You'll eventually realise that, in reality, I'm nothing new. I realised that, I'm doing everything I can to prevent people like you from noticing. Doing a good job, don't you think?

So there you have it, the little guide of How To Deal With Heather. You can't win... is the basic message. There's nothing you can do right. I will pick at your flaws and break you down, piece by piece. "I am single but have a force field around my big enough to take over the world". I'm going to block you all out. I can't have a boyfriend, sorry.

Just convince me, yeah? It'll be tough. But surely, if you manage to, I'll realise that it might be worth letting my guard down for a while.