The Girl You Lost To Cocaine.

It's a song, go check it out;
Sia - The Girl You Lost To Cocaine, from Some People Have Real Problems. She's an excellent song writer. Listen to the song Breathe Me, it will tear you apart, it's just that good. The track name from my blog title seemed rather influential.

Me and Jamie (dude, you just got a mention!) briefly discussed it today, I say it as if you know what I'm talking about, ofcourse you don't have a clue. I am going to be famous, it's written in the stars, it is my fate. I'm going to die, that's more certain that anything, but I'm choosing my death.

By the title, I do not mean that I am going to become a cocaine addict, don't you worry yourself! The song isn't actually about that anyway, it's quite the opposite, it's about how someone else was on cocaine and they lost her. So, haha.

I'm not an ordinary person, I deserve to have a brilliant life because I am something so extrordinary it makes me invincible. According to the dictionary;
in⋅vin⋅ci⋅ble 
/ɪnˈvɪnsəbəl/ Show Spelled Pronunciation [in-vin-suh-buhl]
–adjective
1. incapable of being conquered, defeated, or subdued.
2. insuperable; insurmountable: invincible difficulties.
That's how the song The Girl You Lost To Cocaine makes me feel. In vin ci ble. I feel invincible alot of the time, on top of the world. I really do believe I am made for big things. Heather Cameron, "Delilah Debonair" up in lights, all the best clothes, a handful of expensive cars and a group of people that will drive for me. I truely feel that I am meant for better things. I am just a wonderful person.

I'm perfect for fame, I have a personality that you just can't forget, I make sure of it. And I'm just what the media needs, a motherfucking breath of fresh air! I'd attempt to be a good influence... I just want the easy life.

But to be honest, I can't get noticed. I'm just another try hard really. I'm sure there's loads of people that have the exact idea as me and no talent what so ever... we're all in the same boat. But all I need is one shot at the title and I'm on it. It's never going to happen though. I'm just going to end up as another number, in a mediocre job with a mediocre life, always thinking "what if?"

What if? What if I hit the big time? What if I earned a rediculous amount of money for being excellent? What if I got to drink with the stars? What if I was your idol because I look fabulous? What if I was no longer seen as just Heather Cameron, but instead Liala Diamond? What if that was me? If it was... I'd have achieved everything I have ever wanted. I'd put my past behind me and only ever talk about it on chat shows, "Liala Diamonds traumatic life story", telling tales of young love, drink, drugs and rock & roll. I'd be allowed to put everything in a box and hide it all and create a new life.

Everything would be all fun and games, no responsibility for Liala Diamond, Delilah Debonair. Leading my fabulous-as-fuck lifestyle. Being front page for getting wrecked the night before and falling out of a taxi, flashing my knickers on the red carpet, rumours everywhere of my meetings with men... I can't wait!