Tales Of Mere Existance.

I am going to quote you the whole script of one of Lev's videos because... well, because I can and I have the free time. I can relate to this one, so I'm doing this more for me that anyone else really. I really liked this video, it really hit home.

How We Managed To Not Really Date Each Other;


FEBRUARY

Her: I don't usually meet people this way. One day I stumbled on this really cynical blog, the guy who wrote it seemed to bleak and funny that, on a whim, I e-mailed him and asked if he'd like to get a drink.
Him: I got her note and I looked her up on myspace, her pictures were blurry but she was 22 and, y'no, I thought that was kinda hot.
Her: We got to the bar and started with the Getting To Know You stuff, I told him how I'd just gone to this talk where David Foster Wallice and Rick Moody had talked about how fiction writers these days don't often write about real poli-
Him: I was thinking to myself, "Yeah, she goes to Berkeley, alright."
Her: We talked for a while and then his phone rang. I'd had a few drinks and figured it was another girl...
Him: It was my Mom but I kinda wanted her to think it was another girl.
Her: When he was done with the phone he came back to the table and said all enthusiasticly, "Hey, let's go for a walk!".
Him: I figured if we went outside it would reduce the risk of getting a drink thrown in my face if I grabbed her and kissed her... which I did.
Her: Guys don't mistake me for a one-night-stand kind of girl. I was wondering, why does he think I want to kiss him? But I kissed him back... I guess I just figured, what the hell.
Him: I could tell she was a little uncomfortable so I don't think I pushed too hard. We went to my place for a little while.
Her: I was there for about an hour and he actually thought it was a good idea to show me his playboy magazines...
Him: Wait-wait-wait, those were vintage playboy magazines and I was just trying to show you how funny the old advertisements are.
Her: I couldn't believe it. I was thinking, what a slime ball, what a weirdo.
Him: I wasn't sure what kind of impression I had made.
Her: I figured he'd give up because I didn't sleep with him. I was really suprised when he called the next day.


MARCH

Him: I think we dated for about a month.
Her: I think we had sex for about a month.
Him: I started to like her more than I expected to but there was some kind of barier in the way and I could never figure out what it was.
Her: Every time I'd really start to like and feel comfprtable with him, he'd say something... not about me, about someone else that struck me as overly harsh and judgemental. I didn't want him to judge me that way.
Him: Y'know, I liked that she had such a sharp 'bull shit' detector, but I sure hated it when she used it on me. I couldn't do anything cool without her calling me on it.
Her: I felt like he was trying too hard to impress me, he seemed a little too into his karate uniform and zippo tricks.
Him: Every time I did the thing where you open and light the zippo on your leg, she would just start laughing at me.
Her: I did like him but I just couldn't let myself trust him.
Him: Then one day she said on the phone that she didn't want to hang out for a while because she didn't want to like me too much.
Her: And I guess you could say, that was that.


AUGUST

Her: I wanted to see how he was doing, so I e-mailed him. I don't remember what I said but I did my best to sound friendly and happy.
Him: I was glad to hear from her. I wrote back and did my best to sound smug and arogant.
Her: Why were you being suck a dick?
Him: It goes like this; my friend, Sean, always got more girls than I did and I was just trying to say cocky and aloof things the way that he does.
Her: I would never, never, never date your friend, Sean.
Him: It's actually very nice to hear you say that, thank you.
Her: Your welcome.
Him: Anyway, being a dick didn;t seem to work on her, but I'd just got this basket at the thrift store so I asked her if she wanted to go on a pic-nic.
Her: When's anyone else gonna ask me on a pic-nic?
Him: So we sat on the edge of this big lake and we talked like we hadn't talked before.
Her: He confessed his love of Dragnette.
Him: She said she's always wanted to be like Agent 99 on Get Smart.
Her: We drank a bottle of wine.
Him: And then we went back to her place. We didn't sleep together but we did fall asleep.


SEPTEMBER

Her: I started calling him when something good or funny happened during the day.
Him: I did the same and I was starting to really get into it.
Her: You weren't really that into it...
Him: ... That's so typical of you.
Her: What do you mean?
Him: Every time we started getting closer you'd deliberatley throw a wrench into it.
Her: I wouldn't say that,
Him: Y'know, you never once complimented me or told me I was cute or anything.
Her: ... I know.
Him: Why?
Her: Because you know it.
Him: Not all the time.
Her: Sure you do.
Him: Even if I did, it would be nice to hear it from you.
Her: Why?
Him: Just because.


NOVEMEBER

Him: She was out of town for a few weeks and she called me to say that she really missed me.
Her: He said he couldn't wait for me to get home.
Him: We hadn't talked about if we were dating or not but I was planning to bring it up.
Her: He was always telling me that I meant alot to him.
Him: She would always say that she loved talking to me.
Her: He said I was one of the smartest people he knew.
Him: Then she told me that I reminder her of a great literary character.
Her: Dosteovsky's "The Idiot".
Him: I didn't know what I was supposed to think about that. She would give me these little jabs sometimes to kind of put me in my place.
Her: That's not what I was doing at all.
Him: The book's called The Idiot, it's pretty easy to make that mistake, don't you think?
Her: Well, maybe if you read the book...
Him: Look, I'll get to it!
Her: And then he got really, really drunk at this party we went to...
Him: That's because you were talking to that conceptial poet guy with the glasses all night.
Her: He was a really nice and intelligent man!
Him: I'm sure he's read the idiot...
Her: What about that time I came over just as you were kissing one of your Girlfriends goodbye?
Him: Elizabeth is just a friends and I told you that, and I kiss alot of my friends on the forehead.
Her: Oh, really?
Him: Maybe I was just seeing if you'd get jelous because you never seem to give a shit.
Her: It didnt make me jelous, it just made me totally confused.
Him: Look, what do you want?
Her: I don't know, why don't you tell me what you want first?
Him: No, you first.
Her: No, you first!
Him: Tell me what do you want!
Her: No, what do you want?!


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CXBZSV0FaVE&feature=channel